


Conquering the Prince

by Azulan



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/M, Loss of Virginity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:40:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28299864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azulan/pseuds/Azulan
Summary: Just a little story about some modern thirsty guys who terrorize a fairy tale world. Written almost like a diary entry.





	Conquering the Prince

Okay, disclaimer: I'm not a bad person! I just really, really love sex with big booty cuties, and sometimes they're ungrateful for me taking time out of my day to have physical intimacy with them, so I just quit asking. That's all! Not like I beat 'em up or anything. Well, this guy was an exception.  
Okay, so lemme backtrack. I'm Nathan Drake and I'm gay, and my best friend River Luna-Castello is a bi guy who happens to be a wizard whose only power is taking us to fantasy worlds that he can't get us out of until we alter their history. Yeah, it sucks to be us. On the bright side, every time we end up in a new world, we're completely disguised--then again, does it even matter who knows us? I try not to get bogged down by the details.  
Anyway, our most recent dragon tales knock-off adventure was to a world where the heroes are hot airheads (or at least super naive and trusting) and the villains are sexy murderers. Honestly, I don't know which I hate more.  
But there's a silver lining! The first person we met was this total knockout of a redhead. Seriously, he was buff with a big bubble butt (see? I still pay attention in college even when I'm traveling. That's called alligation), hung and cut, and his eyes screamed "virgin" from a mile away. After a few trips to new worlds, you begin to be able to read people, and if I had to guess, this was the handsome prince sent to save the princess and father a new nation or something. Even if I was wrong, I didn't care. He was a himbo without a weapon and I was horny without inhibitions. But I was right (River). He was a prince looking to save a princess and his name was Eros.  
River and I fought over him for a while, watching him bend over to pick things up, convince him to travel with us wearing minimal armor (and clothing in general), and so on.  
Eventually we got to a castle that was not at all foreboding where a silver fox who looked EXACTLY like River's dad (he doesn't believe me) greeted us only to tell us to turn back. River was like "let's get out of here" and Eros was like "my body shall triumph over yours" or something like that, I wasn't really listening, and I, shockingly, was like "Hey, let's go in." River thought I was crazy, but I figured this wouls go one of two ways: A) a traditional fairy tale where the hero triumphs, or B) Super gay stuff ensues, everyone gets pumped and dumped, and we still prevail. My chances were pretty good!  
So it was settled. We entered the castle despite River's Daddy's warning. And lo and behold...the prince has to fight several monsters and somehow doesnt suffer any injuries, yet any piece of clothing besides his sword and shield get completely destroyed. During the crossfire, my so-called best friend decided to split, so me and my yearning buckets of cum decided to take advantage of Eros' victorious euphoria. We had sex. I was pentrated, he swallowed me up, everybody bottomed, everybody topped, it was a really great time--until I find out he's a virgin.   
I mean, it didn't matter now, but let's be honest: I didn't want that responsibility, no matter how hot he was. I just prayed it wasn't like the last world we went to where m-preg was possible. Like, River would be drowning in child support right now if that was the real world.  
But then there's the part where I look like the bad guy. When we reached where the princess should be, the only person there was Silver Daddy. Like, if Eros was class A, this guy was class S. I didn't even have time to speak before they engaged in combat, which quickly turned (to my delight) wrestling for dominance. Apparently the hot villain couldn't use his powers during the day and it was like 10am. But I was so wrapped up in watching the show that I didn't realize Eros was asking for my assistance. I dropped the ball, and the evil daddy knocked him out and dragged him by the hair over me and I was like "Okay! I see you!"  
And the evil dude made me a deal: bring the princess back to him and I'd get untold riches. I'm not ashamed that I told him "Hey, I just wanna get with you." And me jaw dropped when he threw off his clothes and offered me his big pumpkin-sized booty.  
...  
...  
Yay, Nathan, you got to sleep with a hot daddy! Aw, thanks, guys, it was on my bucket list.  
Anyway, the sorceror (whose name turned out to be Tiberius; meh, ok name I guess) didn't just tell me to plow his soil, but that he'd offer his hand in marriage to me. You know, it may just be me, but a domineering top-energy evil guy who bottoms for you and plays the submissive bride card is god-tier seduction. So I said "Yeah, why not? I'm pretty much playing reverse Mario." He had no idea what I was talking about, but it didn't matter; I felt clever.  
So he dissappeared out of the room still carrying Eros by the hair. I tried to follow, but he was gone and I reunited with River and some hot blonde girl who looked like Sleeping Beauty. Apparently, she was the oh-so coveted princess everyone was raving about (I don't get the obsession because I'm not into her, but whatever), and River had done some pounding of his own. Seriously, let's hope we never go to a world where child support is a thing; River would die in debtor's prison.  
Anyhow, we hit a bump in the road: battle of the horniness. Riven somehow caught feelings from Princess Mary over there and didn't want anything bad to happen. So I pulled the guilt card and reminded him that he owed me for helping him out with a little something involving William Henry Gates III. Surprising to no one, he threw the princess under the bus to save himself.  
But when we brought her to Tiberius, something interesting happened. I assumed the good ending involving Eros' triumph and Tiberius' demise was what history had in store, and that we had to aim for the bad ending where Tiberius won in able to go back home (ironically, I didn't realize his deal with me would then be rendered inconsequential), but there was a third route: Tiberius and Eros fought a spiritual battle resulting in the birth of a god, which then made Mary his bride. Great ending, I guess?   
Then of course, us losers are sent back home to live in mundane society until our next tease of an adventure. So I'd rate the adventure 5/10. At least I got laid.


End file.
